Such Sweet Sorrow
by jubb jubb
Summary: Something happens that will change Monica's life and her marriage forever....c/m story...r+r


**~Such Sweet Sorrow~**

**A/N:** Ok if you're wondering about the title, it's the name of my favourite episode of ER so I just kinda stole it=p As for the idea, I was inspired by a book I've been reading. It might seem like a bit of a morbid story at first, but it gets better, I promise. It's set in season 9 and is a C/M story, but will try and incorporate the other characters as much as the plot allows. This is my first fic I've published on the net…but hopefully there will be more to come, so enjoy and review….even if you flame, I don't mind…it means I get one more review. 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters…I am merely borrowing them and will return them all unharmed….except Chandler whom I'm keeping forever… mwhahaha ….seriously! 

Chapter One – Discovery 

Monica wiped down her wet body with a soft pink towel after a warm morning shower. She couldn't help but smile as she took her engagement and wedding rings from the basin, sliding them on her finger. She was living her dream life. She had a husband who she loved more than anything and who was completely devoted to her, she had a wonderful group of friends, including her loving older brother and now her life was going to get even better as her and Chandler had both decided to try and start a family. Monica sighed with content as she wrapped her towel around her waist and picked up her black lace bra that previously sat on the edge of the bath tub. As she untwisted the strap of her bra, preparing to put it on, her eyes were drawn to her image in the mirror, frowning slightly. Her left breast didn't look right, she couldn't quite explain it but there was something wrong. She lifted her hand, softly touching the area, trying to work out exactly what is was that bothered her.

"Come on Mon, I'm starving." Came Joey's voice from the living area, snapping Monica out of her daze. She put on her bra and then pulled on a tight fitting white shirt. Looking at her reflection she suddenly felt self conscious about her breast. She knew it was probably just her imagination and no body else would notice even if there was really a problem. She continued to get dressed and after quickly brushing a comb through her damp hair, joined the rest of her friends in the kitchen. "About time." Joey said quietly upon seeing Monica approach. She had her arms self consciously folded across her chest, staring wide eyed at the space in front of her in deep thought .

"You ok Mon?" Chandler asked with concern from his seat at the kitchen table, taking her own in his own, noticing the strange way she was acting.

"Yeah." She said quietly, Chandler though wasn't convinced as he watched Monica walk towards the stove to check on the lasagne she had made. It was Saturday night and due to Chandler's work commitments in Tulsa and Ross and Rachel having to look after Emma, the group hadn't all been together for a meal in almost three weeks, so Monica had organised a casual dinner for them all.

Monica sat on the couch between Chandler and Ross, attempting to eat her plateful of lasagne. She'd lost her appetite though and ended up simply poking and prodding at it with her fork. She knew she was probably over reacting, that there was nothing wrong, it was just her imagination, but she couldn't help but feel worried. As she continued playing with her food, Joey and Phoebe were having a conversation about the TV show they were watching. Monica couldn't keep up with the conversation, she couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, her mind was elsewhere. She sighed loudly, giving up on the food and placing her plate on the coffee table in front of her. Noticing this, Chandler frowned slightly. It was something Monica never did, she'd always clean her dishes straight away, leaving used dishes out was a sign of a dirty home and that was certainly not something Monica could handle. Knowing how angry she got when he would leave his plate at the kitchen table, Chandler was convinced something was wrong. He placed his arm around her shoulder and Monica looked up to him with a soft smile, before returning her attention to her hands that sat entwined in her lap. The silence that had recently engulfed the room as everyone finished off their meal, was interrupted by Emma who had awoken in the spare room and was letting everyone know it by crying loudly. Rachel sighed as she began to stand up.

"It's ok Rach, I'll get her." Ross said, knowing Rachel had been up all night with their daughter. Rachel smiled to Ross as he entered the spare room to settle Emma down.

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Chandler asked, leaning close to Monica who looked up at him, wondering how he knew something was wrong, had she been that obvious?!

"It's nothing." Monica shrugged, not wanting to get into it while the gang was there.

"Don't lie, I know something's up, I can tell." He said and Monica swallowed softly.

"Really Chandler, I'm fine." She told him and stood from her seat on the couch, walking into her bedroom. Chandler watched her leave, sighing loudly, frustrated he couldn't get his wife to open up.

Monica closed her eyes softly as she undid the buttons of her shirt and unlatched her bra, taking it off. Once she built up the courage she slowly opened her eyes, staring at her reflection. There was definitely something wrong. She lifted her hand to her breast, softly touching the area of concern. She couldn't feel a lump, but the feeling of worry continued to overwhelm her. She examined her breast over and over until she'd been doing it so much that her chest area began to feel sore. She took a thick jacket from her closet, placing it around her body, not bothering to put her shirt or bra back on. She sat down on the edge of the bed as tears welled in her eyes. She knew there was no point in crying, that it wouldn't achieve anything, but she couldn't seem to hold back the tears and allowed the to steadily roll down her cheeks. Taking in a deep breath, she wiped her eyes and tried her best to compose herself. She tried to convince herself that everything was going to be ok, that it was nothing and an appointment at the doctors in a few days would prove it. But somewhere deep down, she knew that wasn't the case. Suddenly realising how long she'd been alone in her bedroom, Monica stood up, from the bed and after another quick check of her reflection to make sure there was no evidence of her tears, she walked out into the living area.

"Ah she returns, I thought you'd fallen asleep in there or something." Joey said, looking up at Monica who forced a smile.

"Yeah, what were you doing in there?" Rachel questioned and Monica sighed softly.

"Nothing. Um, can I talk to you for a second Chandler?" She asked and he looked up at her with confusion. "In private." She added and he nodded softy standing up from the couch and following Monica into their bedroom.

"Sounds like somebody's in trouble." Joey called out with a grin and Chandler turned to him, shrugging slightly, suggesting he had no idea what Monica wanted to talk to him about.

"What's up Mon?" Chandler asked and Monica swallowed softly.

"I have to show you something." She said, slowing unzipping her jacket.

"Whoa, Mon, your brother is in the other room, not to mention the others." Chandler said, misunderstanding what his wife had meant. Monica glared at him and seeing this, Chandler swallowed softly, extremely concerned by the way Monica was acting.

"Do my breasts look um…different?" She asked, taking off the jacket and Chandler frowned slightly.

"They look fine….they always look fine." He said with a cheeky grin, Monica showed her disapproval of his comment by glaring at him once more.

"Chandler, can you please be serious for a moment?" She asked and sensing the urgency in her voice, Chandler nodded. He saw the concern on her face and did his best to take the situation seriously.

"I can't see anything." He told her honestly and tears began to well in her eyes as she zipped up her jacket. Chandler frowned, seeing the expression on her face. "Listen honey, if you're really worried, we'll organise an appointment for you to see the Doctor, just to make sure." Chandler said and Monica shook her head, forcing back the tears.

"No its ok, its probably just my imagination running wild." Monica said, trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Chandler.

"You sure?" He questioned, seeing how upset Monica had been and she nodded softly.

"I was just over reacting, I guess stress will do that to you." She shrugged with a forced smile and Chandler nodded, but he couldn't help but feel concerned.

"You coming back out there?" He asked and Monica nodded softly.

"Yeah, just let me clean myself up." She said and Chandler nodded, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, before leaving the room. Monica looked at her reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but break down in tears again, she knew something was wrong even if Chandler didn't think so.


End file.
